my timeline (A continuing work in progress)

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by

Josh Huddy
in

my life isn’t marked historically by a ton of self-reflection. I do a lot of thinking, but it’s not often directed inward. This morning I was thinking about how much my perspectives, points of views, opinions, values, and general mindsets have shifted and changed over the years. In an effort to get a picture of that change over time, I’m setting out to create my timeline. Big events in my life, things that I’ve read, podcasts I’m listening to, just general things that are likely shaping and molding me. ones in bold are what I think are profound shapers.

I’m starting in 2011. 23 years old. beyond that, i don’t remember a ton of specifics, and I think this was the real start to my adult life. some of this may be inaccurate. maybe one day my wife will proofread and i’ll make corrections.

2011

  • graduate from college
  • get married
  • start a job at messer. first project location: paintsville KY
  • begin commuting 4 hours round trip, daily
  • go deep into budgeting, personal finance, dave ramsey.
  • Mostly reading: nothing
  • mostly listening to: music. folk / americana / switchfoot
  • mostly watching: not enough time to watch. what a commute.
  • keep commuting. start to get burned out by it. question how much of my life I’m willing to waste.
  • wake up at 4:15. leave by 5. home around 6:30. Dinner, 2 hours to have a life. bed by 9. start over.
  • start listening to audiobooks on the commute. mostly fiction. Watership down and others.
  • begin to drink coffee.
  • get moved to a closer project: gain 3.5 hours back of my life.
  • get a dog.
  • start going on walks and hanging out with my wife more.
  • get paired up with a co-op student – my first time directly managing someone
  • jump around from project to project
  • make a $45,000 mistake at work that i’m directly responsible for. think i’m going to get fired. get shown grace instead. get massively humbled. realize i’m not as smart as I think i am.

2012

  • keep working about 65 hours a week.
  • feel a direct call into camp ministry. get scared. tell my wife. call camp. realize there’s 2 days left in the application process. be obedient. apply.
  • switch careers. (job count: 2)
  • move (house count: 2)
  • Learn on the fly a number of things needed for the many hats you wear in the nonprofit world
  • manage 25+ direct reports close to my age. mess up a lot. learn a lot.
  • develop lasting friendships that would continue to the present.
  • start listening to “Entreleadership” podcast with Dave ramsey and team.
  • start leading worship at church.
  • open our home to a relative going through some stuff.
  • come to realize how great life is when lived in community.
  • read His Dark materials trilogy. love it.
  • sit on a hill at night, looking up at a bright starry sky while 100+ people sit somewhere up the hill behind me. think about the vastness of space a bit too deeply.
  • build a lot of campfires. the amount of campfires you’re thinking of while reading this is too small. think more campfires.
  • play dnd for the first time. never stop.
  • open our home to a close friend.
  • Play dota2. a lot.

2013

  • my grandfather passes away – marking the first close family loss since I was 4 years old. realize i’d give anything for another year with Popaw. simultaneously realize that even though it would be speeding up the plan we had for our lives, my wife and i could give that extra year to our imaginary-but-spoiler-alert-soon-to-be-real children. decide together: “worth it”
  • read ragamuffin gospel.
  • meet more people who would end up turning into lasting friends that would continue to the present.
  • find out baby number 1 is on the way. that was quick. doesn’t quite ‘hit’ yet.
  • move houses. (house count: 3)
  • start getting really interested in artistic design (mostly graphics) and business operations.
  • begin reading more business books and self-help type things.
  • Find MMM and really dive deep into early retirement and aggressive savings.
  • go to emmaus. double down on how great life is when lived in community.
  • make the big boy decision to stop playing video games because of baby.
  • gain a lot of sympathy weight.

2014

  • have a baby. it hits.
  • live and work with 2 of my closest friends.
  • triple down on how great life is when lived in community.
  • realize it’s time to move on from camp – have a very tough conversation with my friends.

2015

  • One last summer at camp with baby number 2 on the way.
  • buy a house. (House count: 4)
  • Start a business (job count: 3)
  • start working with Workforce Development through ECTC (job count: 4)
  • read your money or your life. read it again with my wife. start to question a lot about how we’ve lived our lives up to this point. Our lives begin to be marked by regularly asking ourselves what our shared priorities are in life, and if we’re living consistently with them.
  • begin to adopt minimalism principles within our home.
  • cold call a lot of people.
  • build websites. design graphics. consult on marketing strategies.
  • have baby #2
  • experience a routine birth experience while on medicaid. The insurance process and care level we get sucks. compassion for the disadvantaged / marginalized / impoverished grows.
  • start coffee date. if this could be triple bold, it would be. [note to self, write about coffee date.]
  • months blur together. two kids under 2

2016

  • blurry memory months.
  • start playing video games again – with much more temperance than before.
  • my wife tells a dear friend of ours (a nurse at that time) that she’s late. Our dear friend informs us that it’s “unreliable to count days while you’re breastfeeding”
  • surprise – baby #3 on the way.
  • begin to question the curriculum of the health & Life sciences class I had in 7th grade.
  • immediately start looking for jobs to get family insurance coverage.
  • have another very tough conversation with my friends – this one is worse due to the distance.
  • move cities. change jobs. (house count: 5. Job count: 5)
  • take an intentional break from ministry service/volunteering/leading.
  • learn more about concrete than humans are designed to know. become an absolute riot at parties as a result.
  • learn a lot more about nonprofits and how they function.
  • become fascinated by the businesses of the members of the association I work for.

2017

  • find a church. with people. embrace community that we had been missing for months now due to the move. quadruple down on how great life is when lived in community.
  • have baby #3. 3 girls 3 and under.
  • burn up the highways all over the state. Start listening to audiobooks with a fervor.
  • A great friend and overall amazing human being passes away at much too young an age. Think about life and death a lot.
  • get into a “rhythm” of life that doesn’t feel intentional
  • a small voice begins to form in the back of my mind: “will this be the direction of my life? will this unintentional rhythm become the sum of my decisions up to now? will my career be marked by a few changes and swaps but then eventually a long and steady stable job that pays well but ultimately leaves me unfulfilled? a job that just makes rich people richer. maybe that’s all a job is – just a tool to gain the resources necessary to fuel the time we have away from that job. what does it mean to be happy? am I making the most of my life now? Am I squandering the opportunities that have been presented to me so that my family can be comfortable? is there more that I should be doing to make an impact? To leave a lasting impression? to raise my children in a way that builds up not only them, but those that they interact with? am i living in harmony with my values? do i even know what my values are? should I talk to my wife about this? should I talk to my life group about this? is this a mid-life crisis? Am i in my ‘mid-life’? i know people talk about how time speeds up as you age but i’ve lived a lot of years up until now – to think that i have this many more is encouraging – not scary. but what will i make of those years ahead? surely more than this?”
  • turn the radio back on.

2018

  • a full year marked by trying to balance work and life. incremental increases in both areas. nothing particularly exciting happens. no big changes. no adventures.
  • mother in law diagnosed with ALS. our hearts break.
  • false diagnosis! we rejoice and we are reawakened to the importance of cherishing the time we have with our loved ones.
  • december – dad has a major heart attack. pulls through by grace alone. once again: dwell on the time we have with loved ones and the impermanence of our time together.

2019

  • buy a farm. house count: 6.
  • fix it up. name it “3 hen farm”. get a tractor. relish the simple life.
  • wonder if being a farmer is the path for me.
  • Start listening to podcasts more than audiobooks.
  • dream of living in close proximity to our closest friends. of building a community that intentionally lives life together. invite our life group to join us in that vision. it’s a big ask. they decide it doesn’t line up with their vision for their families.
  • sit around a kitchen table with 4 of our closest friends – all living in different areas of the state. talk about the idea of living in close community. everyone’s on board with pursuing it – the steps to get there aren’t super clear. the others don’t want to move out to our farm in the sticks.
  • that same week: we post our house for sale by owner. I inform my boss that we’re moving cities. I’ll work remotely, or provide my 2 weeks notice. remote it is.
  • buy an rv. move our family of 5 + the dog into 334 SF. house count: 7
  • get back on the minimalism train by necessity.
  • get into disc golf with friends. start playing dnd with friends. hang out with friends multiple times a week. immediately see the fruits of our community building efforts.

2020

  • start a business – contracting (job count: 6)
  • Covid.
  • hesitate, then Shake a stranger’s outstretched hand. feel a physiological response and my mind floods with the resounding truth that human beings were meant to live life in close proximity to each other.
  • cut my hand. almost lose my left thumb.
  • tension rises in the country over racial injustice. I reflect deeply on it.
  • buy a small plot of land. refine the house plans we’ve been working on for years.
  • the dichotomy of covid: 1) Deep longing for spending time with our inner circle of family and friends – zoom helps but doesn’t cut it. 2) deeply gratitude for the rapidly increasing depth of my relationship with my wife and kids.
  • overwhelmingly enjoy the simple & minimal life of the rv compared to the insignificant downfalls of it.

2021

  • Start building our house as my full time job. tons of alone time to: think, listen to music, listen to audiobooks, listen to podcasts.
  • Go to disney with my wife for our 10 year anniversary. walk in epcot in the pouring rain.
  • “finish” the house (as i’m still staring at unfinished parts while writing this in 2024) and move in [house count: 8]
  • host friendsgiving. if you’ve read up to this point – you can probably guess what’s next: thoroughly entrench ourselves in idea that life is best lived in close community.

2022

  • a busy year marked by not much personal growth.
  • lots of building. lots of renovating. lots of roof repairs.
  • question the model and depth of the american church. stop attending services for the first time in my life. try a house church model instead.
  • my gut tells me not to work with someone. I don’t listen; It comes back to bite me. experience intense anxiety/stress for the first time in my life. you read that right – legitimately the first time in my life I’ve experienced “true” stress/anxiety.
  • decide to stop doing construction.

2023

the lost year.

  • head back to church for the sake of the kiddos.
  • The ‘bite’ from 2022 means I have to keep doing construction for financial needs. start to resent the work. deep unhappiness and discontentment. another storm = more roofing.
  • the same camp from 2012 experiences a sudden change in leadership. feel called back. apply.
  • discontentment with construction continues to build. I feel unaligned with my values and priorities in life.
  • my mother in law passes away suddenly and unexpectedly. grief overwhelms us.
  • the final few weeks of the year are marked by intense disappointment. no camp. no specific plan for the future.

2024

  • spend the first month of the year thinking intensely about my values and priorities; planning and thinking about next steps.
  • pursue nonprofit leadership. [job count: 7]
  • connect with the community that I work in. become enamored by it
  • do a lot of self-reflection regularly on my commute.
  • have deep talks with close friends about taking real steps to move close enough to experience life-changing community. encouraged by the excitement they share with us. the theme of the last 13 years becomes pretty clear.
  • join a church plant. watch as many of my cynicism of the church begins to be eroded by the faith and genuine care that i see among a group of people that i do not know.
  • start a blog.